Your Happiness is Showing!

Not too long ago, woman all over the world were posting black and white photos of themselves on Instagram with the hashtag #challengeaccepted. I was nominated by several amazing women in my life and I wanted to participate, as I often get frustrated with gender double standards in our society. I chose a photo I loved (but had never shared) and wrote out my post. However, seconds before sharing, I did a bit of research into the origin of the movement to make sure I was using apt hashtags. I quickly learned that it was ACTUALLY about raising awareness of Turkish femicide. I decided this was not the time to post what I’d written because even though it was about being a woman and strength and supporting one another, I didn’t feel that it brought any attention to that particular cause. Alas, I decided to save it for the blog because I still think this is important.

I feel (as many women do) that there’s a double standard not only of strength of personality, but of propriety in society (ha, say that five times fast). Men can go shirtless without a second thought, but I see women posting pics in bralettes and being apologetic about it (what!?). Ultimately, it boils down to sexualizing women’s bodies, and I refuse to feel uncomfortable because a few humans are going to make an assumption about me as whole based on the way I view and celebrate my body. It’s a beautiful, tiny machine!

This photo is one of the happiest moments of my life. It’s funny that just this morning, my Facebook memories showed me that I’d posted our wedding photos exactly 6 years ago today. There are very few photos of me getting ready before our wedding due to a time crunch involving an emergency fix on my dress with my sewing machine, in the hotel room, less than an hour before I had to be at the chapel! Luckily, my sister (and Maid of Honor) told me to strike a pose and snapped this shot right before I got dressed in a hurry. And ya know what? It’s one of my absolute favorite photos ever. I’ve never posted it because I was worried about what people would think. You know what I WASN’T worried about? The “imperfections” in the photo: the back rolls and dimples, the “chickens legs,” the butt tan line, the light bouncing off the uneven skin across my scarred abdomen, or the tag on my bra sticking out. I was worried about people judging who I am as a woman based on a photo I love of myself and sharing a moment of the purest joy (hellooo, I'm about to marry the man of my dreams!), simply because I’m in my underwear (despite showing no more than a bikini).

Here’s the thing: people seeing me in my underwear or a bikini doesn’t bother me and sometimes I forget the scars are even there because they don’t bother me in the least. I’m just SO FLIPPING PROUD of this little body!

My own body in itself inspires me with its endurance and perseverance and repeated ability to beat “the odds.” It’s so strong even when it’s so weak. It overcomes things my brain never thought it could. In moments that I feel weak, I remember all that this body has been through. It inspires me to do things I never thought I could do! It inspires me to push through whatever mental or physical pain or discomfort I’m feeling because I’ve felt more. It inspires me to treat it better and give it the things it needs to be its best, whether that’s good food and exercise or a good cry, best friends, and a day of rest. When my muscles hurt, I remember when I couldn’t walk. When I need to eat things I don’t want, I remember when I couldn’t eat. When I think of what it’s accomplished and survived, it gives me the strength to be unabashedly and unapologetically my happiest and strongest self! I hope every woman and human feels empowered to share the best versions of themselves with the world without worrying about the (let’s be frank, meaningless) judgement of others.